Yes is one of the most powerful words that ever lived. Just by saying the word yes we create agreements and alliances. Groups of people operating with a common purpose. With this in mind I believe yes is a great place to start. In fact yes is the place where everything starts. If somebody didn’t say yes I wouldn’t be here and neither would you. There would be no roads, bridges, marriages, schools, nations, books, and on and on.

Have you ever considered that yes can be present even if it remains unspoken? Have you ever met someone and found yourself agreeing with most everything they said? Do you have friends who have an uncanny ability to have other people agree to do whatever they ask? If the answer is yes then consider the possibility that yes is not just a word people say when they agree. Yes is a point of view, a way of being. Being a yes means it’s in your eyes, your smile, your body language. It’s with you when you walk into the room, unless of course you forgot to bring it with you. Then yes becomes elusive, out there somewhere, like a snow tiger or a girlfriend (or boyfriend as the case may be).

Being a yes can be easy in some circumstances. Doing things we love with people we like to hang out with for example. In these situations being a yes comes so naturally that we don’t even notice it. We just do what we do and things seem to work out fine. What I’m proposing is that there is something to notice, but you have to look. When you find it you can take it and expand it into other parts of your life. The parts that don’t work as well as you would like them to. How often have you asked for a raise and the voice in your head had 101 reasons why you wouldn’t get it? How often have you wanted to ask someone on a date and that voice showed up with another list of reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen. This is how it was for me until I realized the point of view I walked into a situation with was dictating the outcome. Then I realized I had a choice in the matter. I could be the cheerful confident engaging person I want to be regardless of the situation. It was about who I was being when I walked into the room, before I ever opened my mouth. When I think of asking a friend to go for a hike or go see a movie I’m already living into that becoming a reality. It’s happened before and I just know it’s going to happen again. That’s the person I challenge myself to be every day. What does it take to do it? Practice, patience, perseverance and the willingness to fail. Believe in yourself. Look for the victories, big and small. Don’t sweat the failures. They’re just opportunities.

An important thing to remember is that yes is not about getting your way, it’s about being in agreement. In order to be in agreement it has to work for everybody involved. Start with that kind of Yes. You won’t be disappointed.